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Help me feel less upset at myself.

This weekend I (33F) went on a date with a man (39) that has been asking me out for months. I thought we had a really fun time, he picked me up, we talked the whole night. We moved from the initial date place to a bar and ended up at his house.

I felt very comfortable the whole night. We talked and laughed and had lots of things in common. We’ve known of each other for years and he is good friends with my male cousins. I’ve always been curious about him, and he is attractive.

Anyways, back at his house we continue talking all night, and at some point we started making out and had sex. It was consensual. It was nice.

I ended up falling asleep at his place and the next morning it was very nice. He cuddled with me, and he was touching me all morning, even after he was sleeping and I was watching tv, he kept touching me and hugging me. We ended up having sex again but he didn’t last long, which is fine too. He made a comment about only lasting 5 min and he was sorry.

Thing continue to be really nice at his house, and the conversation continued the whole ride back. But didn’t made plans to see me again.

That was 4 days ago and I haven’t heard from the guy. At this point, I’m upset at myself because I’ve never done this before. I honestly slept with him because I felt safe and comfortable. I’m very sexually aware and comfortable with sex. I was SA’d 5 years ago and it took me therapy and a while to be comfortable with sex, but now I feel like I messed up and honestly, I blame myself. I should’ve known better.

When I discussed this with my male friends, they said that “any man would be lucky to see me naked”, that “I’m a very kind person”, that “since I’m nice to everyone people can take advantage of me” and that “that can see me falling for a slick dude” but this is not a dude. This is a 39 divorced men. You would think he would be more emotionally intelligent than that.

Honestly, any input to get out of my funk would be appreciated.

Thank you! 😊